I’m living in transition mode at the moment, which I know is the time for me to open up, be aware and listen…listen hard. If I don’t, this transition won’t mean anything. I’ll take some step to the left or right, but likely it won’t be significant enough for my feet to be on a new path. I’ll still be going in the same direction, like when one lane of the highway is closed and you need to veer left, but you’re still on the same road, going in the same direction, heading for the same place. Not good enough. It’s got to be more than that. It’s got to be a deliberate change in direction.
So, as I’ve been working on this opening and listening, I’ve been digging deep and really trying to hear what my gut is telling me. What is at my core. What God/the universe/my soul are saying about where I need to go next. Believe me, it freaks me out a bit because I’m not sure what I’m going to be told, and I have to let go of all of my shit, but when I finally stop and trust, the result is beautiful and uplifting. Because the more I dig deep, the more I actually trust myself. The more sure I am of me. And can I tell you, that is a glorious feeling!
In so doing, then, I’ve been looking around and am struck by how few of us actually ever dig deep. We’re walking around living on the surface, wrapped up in the petty, every day-ness of life. Our attention focused on dumb little things that completely distract us from hearing what’s really being told to us, like one person’s remarks that you could have done better, or someone who takes that wicked parking spot, or how your husband puts his dishes on the counter above the dishwasher, not just directly into it (did I say that out loud again :)) These distractions become obsessive and take so much of our energy. They suck the life out of us. Based on one of my last posts, clearly that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for a number of months. Let’s be real, it’s been pretty sucky.
All this living on the surface means that we’re missing out on all of the beauty that lies beneath.
Like an iceberg, we can marvel in its tip, but if we don’t dive below the water’s surface, we miss its full expanse below. There is so much to behold and yet, it goes unseen, unexperienced. We may feel safe hanging out on the tip, but the truth is, the wonder and awe of life exists much deeper.
As I let Ariadne back in (yay me!), it’s becoming clear to me that the majority of us live in such small, limited spaces. We create tiny worlds for ourselves, and somehow feel okay with it because we so easily rationalize and justify that it’s enough. And as I reflect on that, I think, “That’s crap!”
Everyone of us is worth so much and have so much to give to the world, it’s astounding, but we’re so fucking afraid to stand up and stand out (me included).
Come on. We’re all better than this! We are. We think way too small and count ourselves out before we’ve even begun. It’s stupid. Truly.
We shouldn’t ever feel comfortable with what we know right now. It’s too infinitesimal. It’s too minute, like the bits of feather dust that fly off a newly-pulled tissue. You can only detect them when light streams, but that feather dust exists in such a vast space…as do we. What we know right now is simply not enough. It can never be enough.
So, here’s my simple desire for all of us…
Live the whole iceberg!
Let’s take the pathetic time wasted lying to ourselves that we’re living to our full potential and instead break down the ridiculous walls that confine us. Let’s redirect our energy to dive down and burst open who we can be. In that way, we will let others in. We will begin to trust ourselves, and we will move closer to who we can be.
Let’s do that. Let’s do that together and then we’ll see how awesome this world can really be!